Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
