look no pants
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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