So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
