the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
