im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
