i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
