we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
