We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
