I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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