i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
