i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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