i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
