worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
