508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
