Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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