Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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