he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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