If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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