It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
