then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
