Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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