he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
