Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
