with your own penis?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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