My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
