either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
