She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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