ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
