well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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