Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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