I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
