I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
