Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize