Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
