No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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