There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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