All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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