i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
