Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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