I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
