just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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