When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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