i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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