I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
