So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
