There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
