he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
