singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
