Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize