Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
