I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
foreskin is a definite game changer
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
