is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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