Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize