Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
