Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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