everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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