i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
