sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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