Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
